Why getting an agent is like getting a boyfriend

A friend of mine recently joked that his search for an agent was like his past search for a date and it made me ponder. There really are several similarities to these quests. For example:

  1. You will set your sights highest for your first query. (You will start by picking the most attractive guy in the club). After 467 rejections, you will query any agent you can find. (You will try to talk up the guy who’s passed out in his own beer).
  2. One request will put a skip in your step for days. (One date and co-workers will ask you to please wipe the insipid smile off your face).
  3. A rejection from a query will create disappointment. A rejection from a full will drive you to drink. (Getting ignored in bar=not great but you’ll move on. Getting, “I hope we can be friends” at end of date = 4 bottles of wine and a case of Cadbury Dairymilk)
  4. One you have an agent, you will stalk your phone. You will program it to ring differently if your agent is calling. You will check your messages every hour. You will check for a dial tone on your home line, even though your home line has never lost its dial tone. (Yeah, pretty much same thing with boyfriend).
  5. You will obsess about your agent finding a better client with a better concept and kickass title. (You will obsess about boyfriend hooking up with a better girl with a better smile and a smaller butt).
  6. The first time you meet your agent in person, you will obsess about how you look, what you say, if you have spinach in your teeth… (Yep, same thing!)
  7. Every single sentence you write, you will wonder, “Will my agent like this?” (Every single thing you do/wear/see, you will wonder if boyfriend will like this).
  8. You will imagine that all of this will go away once you sign a 3-book deal with Random House. (You will imagine that all of this will go away once you have a ring on your finger).

But then…

Then, you’ll meet YOUR EDITOR!

Category: Just for Fun