1. The voices are going to speak to me either way. Might as well give them names and bizarre affinities for root vegetables.
2. TV? Movies? A social life? Pft. Who needs ’em?
3. I’m no longer single and find it difficult to live without constant rejection.
4. If I didn’t write, I would have no one to talk to on Twitter.
5. My kids don’t find my jokes funny so I might as well tell them to all of America instead.
6. I love going to family gatherings where relatives stuff their mouths with cheese doodles before awkwardly asking me if I’m “still doing that writing thing”.
7. The one thing I love MORE than going to family gatherings where relatives stuff their mouths with cheese doodles before awkwardly asking me if I’m “still doing that writing thing” is going to family gatherings where relatives stuff their mouths with cheese doodles and avoid asking about my writing because they don’t want me to feel like more of a failure than Cousin Harold. And he’s in jail.
8. It would not be wise to call my co-workers dumbasses and writing opens the doors to a world where I can vent these frustrations on critique partners instead.
9. Writing gives me something to blog about that is unlikely to incite someone to leave a rat’s head on my doorstep.
10. Doesn’t everyone want a job that has a slim chance of possibly, in five to ten years, paying 7 cents an hour?
Category: Just for Fun, On Writing